


What am I? (If I answer will you kiss me?)

by FrostGiantInMyJardin



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, I apologize in advance, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kitchen knives, M/M, Murder, Sad Ending, Schizophrenia, small ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:25:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostGiantInMyJardin/pseuds/FrostGiantInMyJardin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire remembers and falls a bit in love.<br/>Enjolras remembers and goes a bit insane.</p>
<p>Kitchen knives get involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What am I? (If I answer will you kiss me?)

"What am I?" 

His hoarse voice startled him, at first. The anomaly of his tone, his long skeletal fingers twitching with unsurpassed emotion, his glowing deathly stare.

Everything screamed danger, something was terribly off-putting, disturbing even, yet he felt lighter in the boy's presence. He was trapped in a false sense of liberation and he couldn't, in that moment, quite fathom how tragically foolish he was being. 

"You are Apollo." He answered without hesitation. He was physically restraining himself from adding more epiphanies and compliments that would flatter only the mindless.  
His lips felt dry and his throat was being slapped by gushes of oxygen. It was asphyxiating in an ironic way. 

Apollo chuckled, but it was humorless and a bit too loud for it to be remotely heartfelt. He took a step back and Apollo took a step forward. He was trapped in this illusional dance with him, but he was a good dancer himself. 

" I am not quite an object. I am not quite a human. What am I?" 

Apollo smiled sickeningly sweet, his eyes glistening with childish joy. 

He was taller than him, longer-limbed. In that blissful moment of silence Apollo resembled a cat waiting for the mouse to come out of its hole. The mouse was the obvious prey and he was the obvious mouse.

"You are Apollo."

Apollo started losing his temper, his pulse quickening and he writhed with uncontrolled ferocity. He was the volcano of Thera and it was only a matter of minutes before he erupted.

Apollo glanced side ways, his focus suddenly absorbed in a shadow on the wall. It was a man that wasn't there anymore, it was a shadow on the wall. 

He screamed suddenly, his hands forming into tight fists and pulling with animalistic strength his golden hair out of his skull. He looked frightened and he started crying, his sobs loud and heartbreaking. He curled into himself, becoming a small ball of human. He looked absolutely dissolved as he laid there, close to hysterics. Wild and chaotic. 

If he could define Apollo in one word that would be it.

Chaotic. 

But then, Apollo was so much more. 

You can't define the undefined.

Apollo started laughing and even he, the pathetic empathetic felt the roots of his hair sticking out. Cold shivers run down his spine and his eyeballs became the size of tennis balls.

You can't define the undefined.

You can't reason with the insane.

Apollo stopped moving. Not even a small flinch of muscle. He looked almost peaceful. 

Absorbed in the psychotic beauty he didn't see the ugliness of paranoia. 

"I am not quite alive. I am not quite dead. What am I?" 

Apollo on all force crawled over to him. Like a snake, he drooled poison and schizophrenia.

"You are Apollo." He didn't mean to answer back but it slipped and Apollo was dangerously near him. Soon the one foot distance separating them became zero and Apollo threw himself in the other's arms. 

Fogged by his sickening happiness that he finally had Apollo embracing him, he didn't see the skeletal hand ghosting over with trembling uneasiness his heart. He felt the cold fingertips brushing over his most vital organ and the blood in his veins freeze.

Apollo nodded his head to the rhythm of his beating heart and smiled blissfully. He looked high and high he was. He leaned, ever so slightly and with delicate pressure he placed his lips upon his own. It didn't taste like anything at all. No fireworks erupted. The time didn't feel like it stopped the moment their lips came in contact.

The minutes kept ticking by. 

Apollo's kiss was dry. He drowned in the mediocrity but average was a cruel word. He felt blessed for being able to taste Apollo. No, it didn't taste like anything at all but it meant the world to him. He realized, going against his hypochondriac nature, he would follow this man 'till the end of the world.

He would kill for Apollo. 

He would let Apollo kill him. 

Apollo started screaming and yelling for him to let go. He punched and cursed and kept screeching and crying. He wouldn't let go. He held him close to his chest and Apollo, listening to his heartbeat calmed down. The incoherent mumbling didn't subside, though. 

"Red, so much red. So much blood. There are two men lying near the wall. Both of them dead. Will you hold my hand while I kill you?"  And he was crying, his sobs a soothing lullaby to his ears. 

"Do you permit it?" He grabbed his hand.

Apollo with shaking fingers, grasped a kitchen knife that was left abandoned in his belt loop, awaiting cruelly  for it's usage. 

"I am not quite sane, I am not quite insane. What am I?"

His voice was quivering. He didn't look like the proud leader of a once failed revolution. And he knew it. And it cost him.

The first stab felt like death was hiding in the corner. The second stab felt like hell itself. His vision was blurry and a welcoming numbness enveloped him. 

Apollo placed a soft hand over his heart. His pulse was slow but still beating, nevertheless.

The third stab felt like fire and stirred him awake. Like a jolt of lightening shocking him, electrifying him to his very core.

He could see Apollo, looming over his body, kneeled with his golden curls a mess atop of his head and violent sobs escaping him. He had never looked more beautiful to him.

Red and blood and corpses everywhere. Yells filled with agony and pain. He hadn't realized that it was him who screamed. 

The forth stab was directed right to his sternum, where his heart laid and it killed him gently. As he was closing his eyes he wondered if it was the last kiss they ever shared with each other. He wondered if they would meet again, in another time, another universe where they wouldn't remember the darkness of the past. 

Would he love him then? 

He had never stopped from their first encounter at the cafe Musain to this very moment. 

Do you love me?

Yes, with all my heart.

Thud 

Thud

...

"I am not quite sane, I am not quite insane. What am I?"

"You are my Apollo."

(What am I? 

If I answer will you kiss me again?)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed yourself anddd... See ya :)  
> Feedback much appreciated


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